Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Comparison: the poison of parenting

Today a friend on facebook quoted her daughter (younger than Lincoln) using real words, full sentences in fact.  And I let the poison that is Comparison creep in.  All I want in the world is for Lincoln to start speaking.  I long to hear his sweet voice say "love you momma."

We are all guilty of letting this poison in.  Me, sometimes so much so that it consumes me.
Why is my kid in the 10 pt club when others his age are in the 25 pt club?  I wish my baby was sleeping through the night, so and so's is.  Why isn't my toddler saying words when others younger than him talk in sentences? Why are my girl's letters backwards, her friend can sound out and spell words?
And on, and on, and on.  Well I've decided I'm stopping.
God blessed me with my kids, they are "fearfully and wonderfully made."  And I need to cherish them as such, not compare what they are and aren't doing to someone else's kid (or worse still, comparing my kids to each other).  This poison of comparison has two side affects, pride and shame.  I either become prideful because my kid is doing so well compared to others or shameful because my kid isn't measuring up. I want to guard against both in my life, so I'm going to stop comparing.  Yes, I'll be proud of my kids and the little victories they have, but I'll also stop feeling shamed that my kids haven't succeeded where others have.

God has us all on an individual timeline, and this poison made me forget that.
No more. 


  1. This is an excellent goal, to not compare our children with others! I have a 7-yr old that is just learning how to read and has a terrible speech impediment. I homeschool, and I find myself fearing that if I put her in school, I would be judged and she would be put in the "low" reading group! What a dumb fear! Our kids are all wonderfully made and we need to remind ourselves every day! (or at least I do!) :)

  2. I love this, and I will try to remember it with Kyria and any other little blessings God may give Skyler and I!
    Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!


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